It takes two to tango

It doesn’t take two to tango in my marriage. Having Lyme disease and being in chronic pain at every possible organ, tissue, muscle and nerve makes it impossible to have an equally weighed relationship. Many of my fellow Lymeys lose spouses, fiancées and boyfriends/girlfriends over this disease. Such a debilitating disease yet it is so hard to see from the outside. A disease that teaches a person how to handle pain better than anybody, yet make that person look like a whinny toddler over tiny things from outside; because everything it does to a victim is purely invisible from outside.

For that very reason it takes a lot to be in a supporting role. There is no equally distributed roles in my household. My husband cooks and feeds the kids, does the laundry and clean the house, helps the kids with their homework and takes them out to play. He has to work and somehow make more money to support this expensive disease (Lyme, rich man’s disease). He has to run around take me from doctor to doctor, listen to me complain about something different, watch me rage, watch me cry, watch me be emotional, keep me motivated to continue this fight, sometimes help me get dressed or even wash me.  When all I do is rest all day and when I do have enough energy to do anything is to join the fun activities with the family. So being the supportive significant other takes a lot of physical and mental strength. My husband is supporting me on something he cannot visibly see. Trust plays a big role when it comes to Lyme. He has to trust that what I go through is real and I am not just a lazy bum. As invisible as this disease is though he would have to be crazy to believe I am that good of an actor to fake this excruciating pain I experience. Well, my husband does believe me and does everything in his power to help me get through this (hopefully temporary) phase of my life.

Regardless of the circumstances he unconditionally puts all his trust in me and supports me endlessly in everything I need. He proves something rare in today’s world. He proves that our wedding vows are true “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life” I must be the luckiest gal in the world. Wonder, I love you dearly and pray everyday that I will see the end of this tunnel together with you.