In my last blog post I talked about choosing to be happy. This post will sound a bit contradicting, yet it is an important topic I would like to address. Choosing to be happy and false positivity are often confused together. Choosing to be happy is declaring your independence. Instead of creating a condition where your happiness relies on somebody else’s approval of you, you decide you will be happy and content with yourself and by yourself (not as in alone, as in without anybody else’s contribution). Emotional dependence is unhealthy and mentally draining.
Do you know what else is equally exhausting? False positivity. Today we are in a society where being positive, uplifting or in good spirit is heavily emphasized. You get in a car accident, people say (even you do it) “at least you were not injured bad” – despite having your car totaled and being in pain for the next year or two. You break up with your significant other, words like “he wasn’t a good fit for you, it is better you didn’t waste any more time) – despite wasting 4 years of your life for this person. I know, I know it is our coping mechanism to help us deal with situations we cannot control. Here is the thing though, it is not healthy. It might be the easier route, however it causes us to dismiss our real emotions. For some reason in our society we are conditioned to avoid half of our emotions. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Disappointment. Resentment. Anxiety. How many times people told you not to cry as they were comforting you or tell you to calm down when you are angry? All of these reactions we get from our surroundings gives us the message positive emotions are good negative emotions must be eliminated. This is the reason why half of our society is depressed. We do not deal with our negative emotions. We dismiss them, shove them deep down, put a positive mask on and pretend we are in good spirits. We keep ignoring all of the negative emotions while a mountain of anxiety, trauma, anger, sadness, insecurities, resentment or whatever else builds up. The build up within us becomes toxic and it always spills out one way or another.
Negative emotions are normal and they are part of our wholesome self. We need to embrace each emotion equally. So next time you see your child crying, tell them “It is ok to be sad or frustrated. You are not a robot. You are allowed to have these emotions. Crying will help you channel them out, so cry. You will feel better.” You will save them years of therapy bills in the future.
Kayseri.Türkiye.1985