My life in seasons
If my life was described in seasons, I can say I feel stuck in the middle of the winter right now. There is a snow storm and my only shelter is a tent. I am cold, wet, uncomfortable and distressed. I don’t know how long this storm will last. I am only wishful, the weather will warm up and all the flowers will bloom again.
I have many challenges in my life, besides my battle with Lyme disease. Life did not stop happening, just because I became ill. I just have one more stress factor in my life on top of everything else. Lyme brings more than one thing to my life. It is more like a treat bag, you never know what is inside of it. On top there is nothing positive coming out of it either. I spend my days going through the possible options. Then I start to eliminate the ones that are not viable. In the end I find myself with zero options left and back to square one.
I have my fog goggles on and I see everything blurry – negative. Then I hear this Turkish song on the radio, “if the flowers that wither and fade away, bloom again. Tell me why, we need to fear in life.” I realized I should not eliminate those options. They are not the best options I have, but right now they are the only options I have. So what, I have to move to a one story home because I am too weak to walk up the stairs! So what, my kids have to leave their school or I have to deal with packing while I am sick. In the end, spring will come and flowers bloom again. We just don’t know how long winter will last. Just have to hang in there, until it ends and know that it WILL end.
Vivaldi could not have explained my feelings any better
I know it is winter now
Soon it will be spring