Birthday Preparation

Quote from my 7 year old:

I want to throw a birthday party for mommy and I want it to be perfect. She always makes sure our birthday parties are perfect, so I want hers to be perfect.

This is how my sister, who is visiting from Turkey, started helping (help is an understatement) my daughter organize a “surprise” birthday party for me. They decorated the family room, ordered a strawberry cake with whipped cream (the only cake I like), bought gifts and invited friends over. It is hard to surprise someone, when said someone never leaves the house :). Random conversations throughout the week with my daughter.

My girl walks into the room casually, supposedly making conversation with me:

Daughter: Mommy, what is your favorite cake?

Mommy: Vanilla cake with freshly sliced strawberries and whipped cream frosting.

Daughter: Hmmmm ok

She casually leaves the room. The moment she is out the room, I hear hear tiny footsteps speeding up and voice increasing:

Daughter: AUNTIE, SHE LIKES STRAWBERRY CAKE.

It was the most adorable thing to experience. As my sister said this party was more for her morale than mine. It did not work out that way.

Celebrating My Birthday

I opened my eyes very early to my two little ones. As usual I feel exhausted already. My body is aching. I am searching for words, as I am relearning how to talk. A feeling I got used to in a short period. I know my sister and my daughter have plans for me and my brother just came into town to visit me. I am also anticipating a few of my friends to show up.

As my children crawl into my bed, I say to myself “SUCK IT UP!” No matter what, I am determined to get through my birthday weekend. They put the effort in, so can I. That is what I did.

Got dressed and my friend took me to a spa to get a pedicure. I was too weak to lift my legs, whenever the lady needed to swap my feet. She had to do it for me. By the time we were done, I was hungry, tired, and just wanted to crawl back in my bed.

Instead my brother took me to a brunch with the kids. The time we spent there felt really long, but it was nice to be out as a family. By the time we were done, I just felt like collapsing. We finally made it home and I threw myself in bed, after taking all my medications. I dosed off for the first time during the day for an hour or so. I woke up to my daughter’s voice. I was not sure where I was, when I opened my eyes. My entire body felt hard and heavy as a rock. It took me good 30 minutes to get myself together.

A few friends showed up. They all drove from out of town and some actually drove back the same day. We cut my cake and opened my gifts. They all got me very thoughtful gifts. Like sunglasses because I am having to wear them day and night, due to sensitivity towards light. I had no time concept at that moment. I think everything was over pretty quick or it felt that way. I was very tired in the end. I went up to my room and laid a little bit. Then they took me out to dinner. It has been a long time, since I ate dinner out. I was excited, but my energy was drained. My entire body was aching, as if I have a fever. As soon as we ate, I asked them to take me home. And finally I collapsed at the couch.

See this whole celebration was aimed to cheer up the kids. Like I said, it didn’t work out that way. It really cheered me up and also put me in tears and made me happy. It was very emotional. It was very overwhelming too feel so much love around me. It was a wonderful day and I am proud of myself for making it through despite the pain.

Celebrating Loved Ones Instead of My Birthday

Going around the sun for the 32nd time made me think. My close friends and family helped me become the woman I am today. Yes some of these friends are not in my life anymore, but the gifts they gave me I still cherish So instead of celebrating my new age, I’ve decided to celebrate and say thanks to the people who touched me one way or another.

Not that I can fit everybody here, but here is a small sample list.

My dear husband, Wonder: It is possible to love someone this much. (no matter how bad things get, we are going to be alright and he is going to be there for me.)

The most wonderful woman who brought me to this world, Necmiye: When you feel overwhelmed don’t look at the big picture, just tackle one thing at a time. Next thing you know, you got through everything. (one of the life lessons that is helping me fight Lyme today)

The smart man who contributed to my existence and also gave me my beautiful eyes, Ilhan: With determination you can accomplish anything in life. (one of the life lessons that is helping me fight Lyme today as well)

My baby brother, Ata : Learn to take a moment to listen to others’ opinions, before you lay out your thought process.

The sister I spent the majority of my life fighting with, Ozgur: No matter what happens, even if the entire world turns their back on me, there will always be one person ready to talk to me and support me.

My lovely twins (Monique and Nichole): Don’t take BS from anybody in the name of being nice

My dear friend, Monique: Look at things from the positive side.

My dear friend, Robert: Even if you are right, you don’t have to be right (it is not worth fighting every battle).

My beautiful nurse, Tiffany: Life is short learn to have fun. Learn about innovative health topics while drunk and sleep deprived.

My friends Robin and Neda: The depth of your friendship is not parallel to the length of your friendship.

My other family, The Powells: You don’t have to be blood related to be family.

My friend, Candie: West cost rocks and I miss city life.

Old friend, Eva: If you are a morning person, then wash the damn dishes in the morning. Just keep a clean kitchen.

Gary: If you are in an awkward situation, make it even more awkward so it becomes comical.

Another old friend, Jen: You can’t do it all by yourself, put those rug rats to work. Also learn to vacation.

My sister in law, Amy: Put the groceries in the shopping cart organized – makes life easier later.

Bobby: Not everybody has to stay in my life forever.

All my friends in Turkey: Doesn’t matter how many years you lived apart, some relationships are solid as rock.

THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING BECOME WHO I AM AND FOR BEING THERE FOR ME WHEN I AM DOWN. I LOVE YOU ALL!


Dogum Gunu Hazirliklari

7 Yasindaki kizimin teyzesine dogum gunu hazirliklari icin soyledikleri:

Annem icin mukemmel bir dogum gunu partisi hazirlamak istiyorum. Cunku annem bizim icin her zaman mukemmel dogum gunu partileri hazirliyor, bende onun dogum gununde herseyin mukemmel olmasini istiyorum.

Iste bu soz ile Turkiye’den gelen ablam  “surpriz” dogum gunu hazirliklarina bulasmis oldu. Oturma odasini suslediler, cilekli krem santili kek soylediler (tek sevdigim kek),  hediyeler aldilar ve arkadaslarimi cagirdilar. Takdir edersiniz ki evden cikmayan birine surpriz parti hazirlamak da kolay degil :). Kizimla hafta boyu rastgele konusmalarimiz oldu.

Benim kiz odaya oylesine girip, sozde benimle sohbet ediyor:

Kizim: Annecigim, senin en sevdigin pasta ne?

Ben: Taze cilek dilimleriyle yapilmis krem santili pasta.

Kizim: Ha tamam

Odadan oylesine cikiyormus gibi yapip, koseyi doner donmez kosarak bagirmaya basliyor:

Kizim: TEYZE, CILEKLI PASTA SEVIYORMUS.

Bunu yasamak cok sevimli bir olaydi. Ablamin soyledigi gibi bu parti benim icin degil kizimin moralini duzeltmek icindi. Ama olay oyle sonuclanmadi.

Dogum Gunu Kutlamam

Sabah benim iki ufaklikla gozlerimi actim. Her zamanki gibi coktan tukenmis hissediyorum. Vucudumun heryeri agriyordum. Konusmakta bile zorlaniyorum. Kelimelerimi bulmakta bile zorlaniyorum. Sanki konusmayi yeniden ogreniyorum. Kisa bir surede alismak zorunda kaldigim bir ruh hali bu. Ablamin ve kizimin benim icin planlari oldugunu ve erkek kardesimin beni ziyarete geldigni biliyorum. Ayrica bir iki arkadasimin da gelecegini umuyorum.

Benim cocuklar yatagima tirmanirken, kendime  “sιk disini” dedim. Ne olursa olsun, bu hafta sonunun ustesinden gelmeye kararliyim. Onlar bu kadar caba gosterdiyse, ben de gosterebilirim. Zaten oyle de yaptim.

Giyindim ve bir arkadasim beni spaya pedikur yaptirmaya goturdu. Ne zaman tirnaklarimi yapan kadin ayaklalrimi degistirecek olsa, kendi ayagimi havaya kaldiramiyacak kadar cok halsizdim. Benim icin ayaklarimi o kaldirmak zorunda kaldi. Pedikurum bitinceye kadar, coktan yorgun, ac ve kendimi yataga atmaya hazirdim.

Yataga girmek yerine erkek kardesim beni ve cocuklari brunch’a goturdu.Orda gecirdigimiz vakit cok uzun geldi bana, ama buna ragmen ailemle birlikte disarda olmak cok hostu. Yemegin sonunda yorgunluktan bayilacak gibi hissettim. En sonunda eve ulastik ve ilaclarimi ictikten sonra kendimi yataga attim. Hemen daliverdim uykuya. Uzun zamandan beri ilk kez gun isigiyla uyuyakaldim. Bir iki saat uyuduktan sonra, kizimin sesine uyandim. Gozlerimi actigimda nerde oldugumu bilemedim. Butun vucudum kaya gibi sert ve agirdi. Kendime gelmem 30 dakikami aldi.

Bir iki arkadasim dogum gunum icin geldi. Hepsi sehir disinda geldi. Hatta bir ikisi ayni gun geri donduler. Pastami kesip hediyelerimi actik. O kadar dusunceli hediyeler almislar ki inanamadim. Mesala isiga asiri hassaslastigim icin bir arkadasim gunes gozlugu almis. Gece gunduz evde gunes gozlugu takiyorum bu hassasiyet yuzunden. Zamanin kavramim olmadigi icin bilemiyecegim ama parti cabuk bitti sanirim yada ben oyle hissettim. Sonunda cok yoruldum. Odama gittim ve uzandim biraz. Sonra beni aksam yemegine cikardilar. Aksam vakti disarida yemegini disarida yemeyeli uzun zaman oldugu icin cok heyecanliydim. Ama butun enerjim bitmisdi. Sanki atesim varmis gibi, butun vucudum acidan sizliyordu. Yemegimi bitirir bitirmez beni eve gotumelerini rica ettim. Eve geldigimizde koltuga yigildim kaldim.

Bu kutlama sozde cocuklari mutlu etmek icindi. Ama dedigim gibi olay oyle olmadi. Dogum gunu partim asil benim moralimi yerine getirdi. Dogm gnunumde yasadiklarim beni goz yaslarina bogdu ama mutlu da etti. Cok dygusal bir gundu. Etrafimin bu kadar sevgiyle dolu olmasi beni cok duygulandirdi. Harika bir gundu ve acilarima ragmen bu gunu atlatabildigim icin kendimle gurur duyuyorum.

Kendi dogum gunumu kutluyacagima sevdiklerimi kutlamam

Dunyanin etrafinda 32. kere donmem beni dusundurdu. Yakin dostlarim ve ailem sayesinde bugunku gordugunuz kadin haline geldim. Bu arkadaslarimin bazilari bugun hala hayatimda olmamalarina ragmen, bana ogrettikleri hayat derslerine hala cok deger veriyorum. Yeni yasimi kutlamak yerine, benim ruhuma bir sekilde dokunmus olan bu insanlari kutlayip tesekkur etmek istedim.

Herkesi buraya sigdirmam mumkun olmasa da, elimden geldigi kadar sizlere tesekkur etmek istedim. Iste bana ogrettikleri:

Sevgili kocam, Wonder: Bir insani bu kadar sevmek mumkundur (ne olursa olsun, hersey duzelicek ve o her zaman yanimda olacak)

Beni bu dunyaya getiren, dunyanin en harika kadini, annem Necmiye: Cok stres oldugunda buyuk resme bakma, tekt tek yapman gereken seylere bak. Onundeki her seyi azar azar yaparsan bir bakarsin hersey bitmis. (Bu tavisye sayesinde bugun bu Lyme hastaligi ile savasabiliyorum)

Benim varligima katkida bulunan ayrica guzel gozlerimi bana vermis olan zeki adam babam, Ilhan: Kararlilikla hayatta herseyi basarabilirsin. (Bu tavisye sayesindede  bugun bu Lyme hastaligi ile savasabiliyorum)

Tatli kardesim, Ata : Baskalaria dusuncelerini aciklamadan once, once vakit ayirip o kisilerin dusuncelerini dinle.

Hayatimin buyuk bir kismini kavga ederek gecirdigim, ablam Ozgur: Ne olursa olsun, butun dunya sirtini bana donse bile, benim yanimda olup, bana destek olacak bir insan var bu dunyada.

Tatli ikizlerim, Monique ve Nichole: Iyilik ve nezaket adina, kimsenin kaprisini cekme.

Sevgili arkadasim, Monique: Hayata pozitif yonunden bak.

Sevgili arkadasim, Robert: Hakli olsan bile, hakli olmak zorunda degilsin (Her kavga ugruna savasmaya degmez)

Benim guzel hemsirem, Tiffany: Hayat kisa eglenmene bak. Sarhos ve uykusuken yenilikci saglik olaylarini ogrenmek lazim.

Arkadaslarim Robin ve Neda: Bir arkadasligin derinligi uzunluguyla olculmemelidir.

Diger ailem, Powell ailesi: Aile olmak icin kan bagin olmasi gerekmez.

Arkadasim Candie: Ulkemizin bati yakasi harika ve sehir hayatini ozledim.

Eski dostum, Eva: Eger gunduz insaniysan, su lanet olasi bilasiklari sabah yika. Mutfagini temiz tut.

Gary: Eger rahatsiz edici bir durumdaysa, daha da rahatsiz edicek bir duruma getirki komik hale gelsin durum.

Baska bir seki dostum, Jen: Herseyi kendin yapamazsin, bu yaramazlari calistir. Ayrica tatil yapmayi ogren.

Gorumcem, Amy: Alisveris yaparken yiyecekleri alisveris sepetine duzenli olarak kolay. Sonradan hayati daha kolaylastiriyor.

Bobby: Her insan hayatinin sonuna kadar hayatinda kalcak diye birsey yok,

Turkiyedeki tum arkadaslarim: Ne kadar yil ayri yasadigin onemli degil, bazi iliskiler kaya gibi gucludur.

BANA BUGUNKU OLDUGUM INSAN HALINE GELMEME YARDIMCI OLDUGUNUZ ICIN VE HALA BANA BUGUN HAYATIMIN EN ZOR GUNLERINI YASARKEN DESTEK OLDUGUNUZ ICIN TESEKKURLER.  HEPINIZI COK SEVIYORUM!

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2 Thoughts on “Revolving around the sun for the 32nd time32. kez gunesin etrafinda donusum

  1. Nilufer on 04/27/2013 at 3:44 AM said:

    Dogum gununun kutlu olsun.Ailen le saglikli mutlu huzurlu nice yllara.adresini bana yolla Vietnamdan sana hediyeni posta ile gondereyim.

    • LymieGirl on 05/12/2013 at 10:16 AM said:

      Cok tesekkurler 😀 Hediyeye gerek yok ama cok dusuncelisin sagol. Blogumu duzenli bir sekilde okudugun icinde cok mutesekkurum. Amerikadan selamlar.

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