Funny fact pain is the one thing that is capable of strengthening your belief in the higher power. You feel helpless, cornered and not in control of what is happening to your body. The pain gets intensified by the level of helplessness you feel and when you reach that point that you think it cannot get any worse and this must be your absolute rock bottom; you witness new layers of worse. See that is when you turn to the higher power to beg for it to end. You know then you have reached the acceptance that you in fact are not in control of the outcome, no matter how strong you are, no matter how motivated you are or no matter how much of a fighter you are. Nothing else is left because you exhausted all your options, so reaching out to your God and waiting to see improvement are your only options.
So this is my prayer to God after a single drop of my new medication:
“God, please let this rock bottom be temporary and help me get through it as quickly as possible. Even though there are many people who do not believe, support or empathize, my or my fellow lymeys’ pain and suffering; protect them so they never go through anything near what we are going through. Although physical strength is not on the horizon, give me emotional strength so I stand strong during this storm. Also, God thank you for bringing all the people you brought in my life that are standing by me and don’t care much for the storm that is passing through my life”
PS: Not sure I am able to explain my feelings. Writing while feeling pain, so bare with me.